Hotel Havoc
by Thatkliqkid
Summary: Oneshot.HBK, HHH, Chris Jericho, The Hardy boys and Edge a/k/a Adam are in whole lot of trouble after three days in a hotel together.


**I edited and replaced the original document seeing as how I stupidly didn't proof read and had left the html code for forum italics in the documet lol! Thanks to Gargoyle13 for the heads up. Thanks to everyone who reviews/reviewed :-)**

* * *

"Hunt?"

"Don't talk to me"

Shawn exhaled sharply, the cloud of indigence wisped between them as they sat, squashed between Chris and Adam with Jeff and Matt slouched to their left; the telltale sliver of guilt tainted them all.

"Don't know why you're not talking to me, I didn't tell you to throw the bucket-"

"Shut up Shawn you're gonna get us in even more trouble" sniped Matt

"Ooh even more trouble" Chris rolled his eyes, his words lilted with mockery.

"Yeah, you'd think he'd never been called to Vince's office before" added Adam; a smirk lingered around the corners of his mouth.

"I haven't" seethed Matt

"Really?" Shawn's gruff tone dripped incredulous, "I used to live here"

Hunter snickered, swiftly smothering his giggles as Shawn caught his eye.

"Maybe Vince won't be too mad" suggested Jeff hopefully, "I mean it's not like we broke any laws"

"Well not the major ones" Hunter amended, "I think we may have strayed from felony-"

"Isn't fraud a felony?" queried Chris

"I'm not sure" Shawn crinkled his brow with contemplation,

"I hope not" he added finally, "Otherwise we're all in really big trouble"

"We didn't commit fraud really" said Matt

"Didn't you sign for your room card as Marlon Brando?" enquired Hunter

"No that was Adam"

"Well didn't you buy ice cream under the name Sharky and George?"

"That was me" laughed Chris raising his hand

"Oh. Well who was Matt?"

"Snoopy" volunteered Shawn

"No that was Jeff"

"No I was Danger Mouse" corrected Jeff

"So Matt _was_ Snoopy?" stressed Hunter, puzzlement embedded in his tone.

"I was Dr Zaius" Shawn offered

"Guys is it really important which fictitious character we signed our cheques as?" asked Matt, anxiety threaded through his words. He couldn't fathom how his co-workers could be this flippant as they waited for Vince to chew them out. Dread filled him; they could be fired for fraud surely.

"Well yeah, I don't think Danger Mouse has $12 to pay for three triple mint chocolate chip cones" Jeff pointed out.

"You think they knew we were wrestlers?"

"Would we be sitting here if they didn't?" Adam raised his eyes to the Heavens at Shawn's apparent stupidity.

"Yeah I mean when you elbow dropped Chris from the top of baggage rack in the lobby, I think they cottoned on" Hunter supplemented

"Well he shouldn't have tried to code breaker me when we were waiting for the elevator!" snapped Shawn defensively

"Look for the last time Michaels if you hadn't cheated at Monopoly none of this would have happened"

"I didn't CHEAT! I loaned the money from the bank"

"THERE ARE NO LOANS!" cried Hunter, "You stole all the green houses as well"

"Only after Chris nearly choked on one, I was making sure he didn't kill himself"

"Who shoved the house down my throat?"

"You were stealing my money!" wailed Shawn

"I was putting it back in the bank after you robbed $600 to supposedly "fix a leak"

"The faucet was broken in my hotel!"

"I told you not to play Monopoly with Shawn" shrugged Hunter, "But would anyone listen? No, nobody listens to Hunter and then every damn time we end up outside Vince's office"

"Excuse me Helmsley?" cried Adam, "Whose idea was it to have sock wars in the hallway?"

" I got bored of watching Shawn crying over having to pay Jericho rent, was it my fault that woman got in the way of my onslaught of socks?"

"She said she was a Bret Hart fan so you threw seventeen pairs of socks at her!"

"Cool!" exclaimed Shawn hi-fiving Hunter

"I thought you were meant to turn the other cheek, forgive and forget-"

"I can forgive and forget and still enjoy his marks getting socks thrown at them" interjected Shawn, overriding Matt's chastisement

"I don't think the Bible says "Turn the other cheek and aim sweaty socks" Shawn" commented Chris

"I wasn't aiming socks!" protested Shawn

"I know, you were too busy getting your butt kicked"

"You did not kick my butt!"

"Did you tap?"

"But-"

"Did you tap?" repeated Chris tauntingly

"Yeah but you had an illegal hold!"

"It was the ankle lock!"

"Yeah but you tied me up –"

"I didn't! You fell over and wrapped yourself in liquorice because you're a klutz!"

"Ah damn I missed seeing Shawn tap?" moaned Hunter, " I knew I should have stuck around for the after monopoly match"

Their banter was abruptly halted as the office door crashed open, reverberating anger through the secretary's room tenfold.

Vince's form loomed before them, ire seething from every pore.

"Office now!" he barked furiously.

They stood, filing through the door like disobedient school children. As Shawn went to squeeze passed his boss he faltered, turning to him with fraudulent inquisitiveness

"If I pay my fine now can I leave?"

"No!" growled Vince, flesh pulsating a furious mauve.

Shawn shrugged before taking a seat beside Hunter.

Vince sat at his desk; a scathing gaze surveyed the six superstars before him.

"You're not getting fined yet"  
"Awesome"

"Shut up Adam" whispered Matt

"You are however paying the expenses, once I figure those _then_ I'll figure the fine"

"What expenses?" snapped Hunter

"The ice cream, cookies, brownies and bagels-"

"Who ordered bagels?" sniggered Shawn

"Matt" supplied Jeff, "He's weird like that"

"_I'm_ weird?" spat Matt indignantly

"Bagel Boy needs to calm down" observed Hunter

"SHUT UP!" roared Vince

Silenced, the six looked warily at their employer.

"As I was saying" continued Vince, shooting a glare in Shawn's direction pointedly, "All the food you ordered in false names needs paying for, a TV-"

"TV?" enquired Hunter, eyes stained with bewilderment

Vince flicked through the hefty document on his desk.

"Yes there was a broken TV in room 242"

"Oh" Chris exhaled softly

"Oops" corroborated Shawn

"What did you do?" asked Adam, voice hitched with curiosity

"You know when Chris tied me up and tried to pretend I tapped?"

"There was no pretending – you tapped like a girl!" protested Chris

"Whatever Christopher!" Shawn disregarded him, "Well when he finally let go and I untangled myself, he grabbed me again and my shoe came off so I threw it and Chris ducked"

"Hasta la vista 12" TV" Chris feigned mourning

"You shouldn't have ducked!"

"What so I'm meant to stand there and let you throw shoes at me? Do I look as stupid as you? Assclown" scoffed Chris

"Will you stop with the bickering?!" interjected Vince, " Now you also need to pay for the cleaning supplies you stole-"

" We didn't steal anything!" objected Shawn angrily

" Yeah!" agreed Adam

"Well technically we stole the ice cream-"

"Matt do everyone a favour and please shut ...the hell..UP!" cried Chris bitingly

"It says here you stole two mops, two buckets, an electric buffer and about six pairs of plastic gloves from the Janitor's closet"

"Oh you mean we weren't allowed to just borrow those?" asked Hunter raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"NO!"

"I thought we could"

"I did too" agreed Shawn, "The door was open and everything"

"So I guess the mops aren't supposed to be used as weapons in American Gladiators?" laughed Jeff

"And the buckets aren't helmets" added Hunter thoughtfully

Vince palmed his face in frustration, unable to comprehend how grown men could be so childish.

"Why did you take the buffer?" he questioned against his better judgement.

"Hotel hockey" answered Chris matter of factly, "Gotta represent Canada Vince"

"We beat him" grinned Shawn, "And hockey isn't even our sport"

" _You_ didn't do anything-" muttered Chris

"Yeah you were too busy eating the liquorice you'd found still wrapped in your hair" teased Hunter,

"It wasn't in my hair it was round my wrist" refuted Shawn

" I don't care if you found it in the bottom of a bucket!" bellowed Vince, " You're paying for the food, the TV, the cleaning equipment, the buffer one of you flung down three flights of stairs-"

"Jeff!" accused Shawn, Chris and Hunter simultaneously

"I didn't fling it "Jeff denied, "I was racing the buffer against the vacuum that Adam found and well it sort of got away from me"

"DAMN IT THIS IS WHY I DON'T LET THE ROSTERS INTERMINGLE!"

Shawn bit his lip to hide a smirk of amusement. Did Vince not realise that Adam, Jeff, Hunter and Matt were all on Smackdown together? He could just as easily cause mischief with Chris as he could with Hunter anyway.

"From now on you're not allowed to be on the same floor as each other in hotels" Vince decreed.

"That's not fair" protested Hunter

"You can't separate us"

"Watch me Michaels" growled Vince

"You know hotels have stairs and elevators" Jeff pointed out,

"You're banned from elevators"

"Banned?" snorted Shawn, "You can't ban us from using a public convenience Vin Man!"

"Oh I'm not banning you, the hotel are. They said under no circumstance are you three allowed in an elevator in any of their hotels throughout the country"

Shawn glanced from Chris and Hunter as Vince pointed the finger of chastisement firmly at them

"Why are we banned?" asked Chris

"Yeah how come we're not allowed in an elevator but buffer breaker and bagel boy are?" posed Hunter heatedly

"Stop calling me bagel boy!" Matt yelled.

"You three damaged both elevators on your floor, you vandalised –"

"We didn't damage them!" disagreed Shawn

"NONE OF THE BUTTONS WORKED AFTER YOU LEFT!"

"Oh that, that was Chris' fault" shrugged Hunter

"Whose fault?" demanded Chris, words threaded with disbelief, "I believe it was Shawn who pressed all the buttons at once"

"Only because you told him to"

"I did not!"

"Yeah you did" argued Shawn, "You rapped at me and then said something about how I wouldn't push the button"

"We were having a battle of wits is it my fault you came unarmed?"

"Huh?" Shawn looked at him, bafflement creased his features

"I rest my case" sighed Chris

"So that's how we damaged them" continued Hunter disregarding Shawn's incomprehension, "we didn't vandalise anything!"

"I wrote my name on the wall" Shawn spoke up sheepishly

"Why?" groaned Hunter, "why do you do that everywhere we go!"

"It's like an autograph" grinned Shawn

"It's going to cost you $50 just to have your name removed"

Shawn rolled his eyes at Vince.

"You'll have to ask JBL for a raise now" joked Adam

"Shut up" commanded Shawn reaching behind Hunter to smack Adam on the back of the head.

Adam reached back to retaliate but found his blow blocked by Hunter.

"Touch him and die"

"Ha!" Shawn crowed, "You can't hit me! Only Kliq can... OW!"

Chris smirked as he flicked the elder man on the temple once more.

"I didn't hit you" he justified smiling

"Nimrod" pouted Shawn

"Are you finished?" snarled Vince his tone edged with danger. Shawn sought the ground, dutifully subdued.

"You know none of this would have happened if we hadn't been stuck in the hotel for three days straight" Hunter noted

The others voiced their agreement, a low rumble of complaints at the horrendous weather which had held them captive, enslaved to boredom and general silliness.

"The rest of the company managed to survive the rain without destroying the place" chided Vince

"Yeah but they suck" Adam commented

"They do" nodded Hunter

"None of them know how to have any fun" Jeff added.

"Whereas we, we had a blast" grinned Chris

" Well your 'blast' just blew a massive hole in your finances" bayed Vince, his voice torn with fury, " In three days you six have managed to cause about $70,000 worth of damage between you! Do you realise how that looks on the company damn it?!"

"Bad?" suggested Jeff

"Very very bad?" ventured Chris

"Worse than when me, Hunter and Kevin spray painted the McDonalds drive in?"

"No that was bad" groaned Hunter the memory flaring at Shawn's prompt.

"This isn't a joke!"

"We know Vince" replied Hunter quietly

"It is funny though" Shawn mumbled

"YOU are on VERY thin ice!" bellowed Vince aiming a finger in Shawn's direction

"When am I not?"

"I thought you were meant to have grown up a little since 1996"

"I did. I have. Rain makes me regress"

"You're unbelievable"

"Than-"

Hunter stamped on his friend's foot sharply, determined to prevent Shawn from digging his grave any deeper.

"So are we getting punished or –"

"Do not push me"

"Don't push him Jeff for the love of God don't push him!" cried Adam

"Yeah you're gonna get us all suspended man!" yelped Shawn, "I need to stay here, I need my extra credit, I can't be doing with suspensions on my permanent record-"

"SHAWN!"

"See now he's yelling at me" muttered Shawn, "Why'd you push him Jeff?"

"That's it, you're fined $20, 000 and you're banned from elevators and staying on the same floor as these five idiots. Get out!"

"$20,000 isn't that a little steep Vince? I mean I only got fined $10,000 when I broke kayfa-"

"DO YOU WANT TO MAKE IT $30,000?!" yelled Vince

"Alright I'm going" snapped Shawn, "Sheesh, there's a financial crisis Vince-"

"OUT!" bellowed Vince

Shawn shut the door with a click, leaving his co-workers at the mercy of his aggravated boss

"You're all fined $20,000 and you're not to go near each other in hotels do you hear me? I don't care if it snows rains or pelts toffee apples. You stay where the office puts you! There is no chance in hell you're causing this much trouble again, if you do you're out of here understood?"

"Yes" they murmured collectively

"Now someone pass the information on to the moron outside" snapped Vince, "Now get out of my sight"

Shawn was waiting for them in the hallway, one leg resting against the wall.

"So?"

"We're banned from staying on the same floor, wallets are $20,000 lighter" reported Chris

"Oh"

"Yeah" said Hunter, " So I guess since Hotels are out we'll never be able to commit fraud, play hockey, break a buffer or break a bunch of elevators again"

"Meh there's always arenas to destroy" shrugged Shawn.


End file.
